On Work: Work Soft, Not Hard

Working hard is the American ethos.

Push through.
Do more.
Stay busy.
Get it done.

For a long time, I believed that too.

And then my body stopped cooperating.

The Moment It Stopped Working

I hit a point where I was completely exhausted.

Not just tired—deep, cellular exhaustion.

Adrenal fatigue made it impossible to keep up with the pace I thought I should be able to maintain. And the harder I tried to push through it, the worse it got.

Working hard didn’t solve the problem.

It was the problem.

And I did what most of us do—I tried to fix it.

More discipline.
More effort.
More control.

None of it worked.

The Question That Changed Everything

At some point, I asked a different question:

What if I just let myself rest when I’m tired?

What if I stopped fighting my energy…
and started working with it?

That’s when everything began to shift.

What “Working Soft” Actually Looks Like

Working soft doesn’t mean doing less.

It means working in a way your body can actually sustain.

For me, it looks like this:

• A 2-hour nap every day. Non-negotiable.
• Sitting on the sofa, under a blanket, fireplace on, dogs curled up next to me
• Laptop on a lap desk—not forcing myself into a rigid workspace
• Letting myself go slow
• Telling myself: there’s no hurry

And something unexpected happens in that space.

My nervous system exhales.

The Way Work Feels Now

When I’m working soft:

• My body is relaxed
• The tension in my shoulders is gone
• My back doesn’t hurt
• I’m focused and in flow
• I’m not trying to escape the work—I actually enjoy it

I’m not rushing.

I’m not reacting.

I’m not counting the minutes until it’s over.

I’m in it.

What “Working Hard” Actually Looks Like

I see it all the time with designers.

Working hard looks like:

• Going all day, every day
• Overscheduling every hour
• Jumping from one appointment to the next
• Treating yourself like a machine

The belief is:

I just need to get more done.

But the cost is real.

Stress keeps you in a reactive loop—working on everyone else’s priorities, constantly behind, never grounded.

You’re moving fast… but not necessarily forward.

The Shift: From Machine to Human

We are not machines.

We are not robots.

We have rhythms.
We have energy that changes throughout the day.
We have limits—and signals—coming from our bodies all the time.

Working soft is simply this:

👉 Listening to those signals instead of overriding them

Like a toddler:

• When you’re tired → you rest
• Not more coffee
• Not more pushing

You give the “animal of your body” what it actually needs.

And when you do that…

You start to feel like yourself again.

The Structure That Makes This Work

This isn’t chaos.

This is where structure actually matters.

Working soft is supported by:

• Real capacity planning (not wishful thinking)
• A weekly container for your work
• Margin—extra time built in on purpose
• Space for the unexpected

I make sure my work fits into the week.

And then within that container, I let myself follow my energy day to day.

Not overscheduled.
Not rigid.
Not forced.

The Internal Shift

Working soft also changes how you speak to yourself.

Instead of:

• I’m behind
• I need to hurry
• I should be doing more

It sounds like:

• I have plenty of time
• Everything that needs to get done is getting done
• I’m right on time
• I’m doing what’s important

And this one:

If it didn’t get done, it didn’t need to get done.

That’s a radical thought in a “work hard” world.

What Opens Up

When you stop forcing productivity…

You make room for something better:

• Clarity
• Intentional decisions
• Creative flow
• Actual enjoyment of the work

You’re no longer in a death march of productivity.

You’re in a relationship with your work.

And it feels completely different.

The Truth

Working soft doesn’t mean you don’t care.

It means you care enough to work in a way that’s sustainable.

It means you trust that:

• going slower doesn’t make you fall behind
• taking care of yourself is not a liability
• calm is not the enemy of productivity

The Line I Come Back To

Working soft, not hard.

Not pushing.
Not forcing.
Not overriding.

On Work is a Designer Sanity series exploring how we work, create, and live—by Betsy Brandenburg.

Just… working in a way that actually works.