Pep Talk: How to Tell It Like It's Good News

Years ago I had a good friend get engaged right on the heels of the breakup of a long-term relationship.  Even though she was thrilled to be starting a new life with her new beau, she worried about “how it was going to look” to “Everyone” from the outside.  Her instinct was to apologize when she was telling people her news.  

But right in the middle of that, she got some stellar advice.  A wise soul told her to “tell it like it’s good news” instead.  Instead of apologizing for getting engaged to someone so soon after breaking up with her long-term boyfriend, she just shared her joy at her new relationship and how right it felt.  And what she found surprised her.  

For the most part, when she told people this was good news, they took her word for it and were happy for her.  Much to her surprise, they took her lead for how to feel about the situation instead of “calling her out” for getting engaged too soon or making a mistake.  She got to stop explaining herself, and just enjoy her happy news.  

Although this was years ago, I never forgot this advice and how life-changing it was.  I’m a person who can see all sides of a situation, and it’s easy for me to fall into the trap of worrying about how something looks on the outside and start apologizing in advance in a misguided effort to head criticism off at the pass.  

But here’s the thing - for the most part, people take your lead for how to feel about the situation you are presenting them with.  If you apologize and “tell it like it’s bad news” that’s exactly the reaction you’re going to get - worry, criticism, fear.  

On the other hand, if you “tell it like it’s good news,” nine times out of ten, people will take your lead and react to the news positively.  At the very least, you’ve done your best to set yourself up for the most positive reaction and outcome possible.

This is so important for us to remember when dealing with our clients as kitchen and bath and interior designers.  We’re constantly having to communicate “bad” news with clients about products that are discontinued or out of stock, a wall that can’t be moved and therefore impacts what we wanted to do with our plan, etc.  Ooops, the faucet they love doesn’t come in the right finish so they need to re-select.  It can feel never-ending.  Here’s where “telling it like it’s good news” can be very effective.  

Telling it like it’s good news means:

• Normalizing the situation (this is not a crisis, this happens all the time and we can handle it, no big deal).  
• Focusing on solutions instead of problems.
• Taking responsibility but avoiding being overly apologetic, and instead putting your energy into problem-solving.
• Getting creative about what’s positive about a situation and how this new development could be a good thing for the client/project- focusing on the positive
• Being future/results oriented, instead of past/problem-oriented.  

Here’s an example.  The tile you designed the whole bathroom around is discontinued and you need to re-select.  You’re really bummed, and what you want to say is:

“I have some bad news - the tile we specified is discontinued.  I’m so sorry about this!  I know you really loved that tile, we all did. I can’t believe this is happening, we designed the whole bathroom around that tile! Now we’ll need to select something else.”

Of course your client will be disappointed about the tile, but now you’ve just added fuel to the fire and thrown confetti on their pity party.  The energy is rapidly going down the gutter, and it’s going to be close to impossible to get them to like another tile.  Even worse, for years to come the new selection will always seem “second best” and they’ll feel a little bit worse about the final result.  

Instead, you can try telling it like it’s good news:

“I have some news.  The tile we specified is discontinued, something that happens often in this business.  But the good news is we have found something else that we think is even better.  I know we all loved that other tile, but I hope once you take a look at the new tile you’re going to love it as much as we do, and it’s even less money than the first one, so that’s great news as well.  Can’t wait to show it to you!”

See how different that feels? We explained the situation and acknowledged disappointment, but we didn’t dwell on it.  We normalized the situation and focused on solutions.  And by the way, as you read above - if you can AT ALL solve the problem before you even tell the client about it, you’re going to seal the deal of your success and look like a pro.  

Both of the above examples were true and stated the facts.  But if the client is going to go along with your train of thought, which train would you like them to be on? Yes, probably the second train - the train that is moving in a positive direction.  

I’ve been through this more times than I can count, and I always find that when I can stop and quiet my own disappointment and frustration and focus on solutions, I’m then able to communicate that with the client.  It’s rare that the client doesn’t hop on my positivity train and ride it with me to the next workable solution.

Setbacks happen, they always do, but it’s not the end of the world and can be an opportunity to find an even better solution.  We all know this to be true, and our confidence in this process can carry over in our communications with our clients, when we remember to “tell it like it’s good news”.