Designer Sanity’s Month of Gratitude Week 1: Clients

As we celebrate Thanksgiving this November here in the US,  I like to take the whole month to focus on gratitude in my personal and professional life.  I read books focusing on gratitude and journal daily.  It’s become one of my favorite fall traditions, and I’ve come to look forward to it every year. 

This year, I’ve got a couple of ways for you to join me at Designer Sanity as we focus on our gratitude practice during the month of November. 

First, I’m going to do a 4 part series this month focusing each week on a different way to practice gratitude in your kitchens and bath design business.  You can sign up at the bottom of this post for my newsletter so you don’t miss any of these powerful blog posts.  

Second, I’m very excited to announce that I’m going to be leading a FREE 30-day Designer Sanity Gratitude Practice during the month of November.  Stay tuned (by signing up for my email list below) to get your FREE Designer Sanity Gratitude Journal PDF Download with daily inspo and journaling prompts - I'll be sending out more info on that next week.  In minutes a day, you can increase your happiness and overall sense of well-being in a powerful way. 

“Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgiving, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings.” - Proverb

Week 1: Gratitude for our CLIENTS

Okay, so let’s get started!  During this first week of November, we’re going to focus on feeling and expressing  gratitude toward our Clients. 

 As a designer, it’s easy to focus on the clients who are stressing us out, not following our "instruction manual" about how an ideal client is supposed to act 😂, and essentially driving us crazy.  In fact, it can be easy to focus so much on the negative things that are going on with our clients, both present and past, that we neglect to fully appreciate how many amazing and wonderful things our clients bring into our lives on the daily.  

I would pretty much guarantee that if you were to make a non-biased list of all the positive things and negative things your clients have brought into your life in recent months, the positive list would FAR outweigh the negative.  So why don’t we feel that way? 

 Welcome to the Negativity Bias

It's simple - your brain has  a negativity bias.  It’s not trying to be mean to you, it’s just trying to keep you alive.  The negativity bias is what kept our ancient ancestors scanning the horizon for saber-toothed tigers and kept us alive. 

It’s primal, and we’re not getting rid of it anytime soon.  It is our standard operating system, and what our brains will always revert back to unless we input a new program.   

 So what I’m saying is, unless you make a conscious effort to focus on the positive things your clients bring into your life,  your brain will ALWAYS focus on the negative.  That’s just a fact.  And constantly focusing on the negative is going to make you feel pretty crummy in the long run.  It’ll increase your stress and feelings of overwhelm - which we all know are not exactly the feelings that make you pop out of bed excited to face the day!

 But here’s the great thing - although our brain’s standard program may be a negativity bias, we have the power to override this program and create a new one.  

 In other words, while our brains might naturally focus on the negative, we can CONSCIOUSLY decide to focus on the positive. 

 If you’re not used to it, it’ll feel weird at first, because you are literally creating new neural pathways and connections.  It’s a bit like your brain has been carving out a grand canyon pathway of negativity, and you’re redirecting the river of thought toward positivity and gratitude instead.  At first, there is no pathway, so it's going to take time for that connection to get stronger and feel natural.  

 Essentially we’re talking about habit formation and brain plasticity here.  It may feel hard, but science (and past experience) prove that it’s absolutely possible.  In fact, it’s not just possible, but necessary if we’re going to take control of our own happiness and well-being. 

That’s what this gratitude practice is all about this month - creating and strengthening those new neural pathways.  The pathways of gratitude.  

You may be wondering, but if I just focus on the positive, won't I miss a crucial problem that needs my attention?  

Don’t worry,  I’m not talking about ignoring important things that need our attention or need to be addressed.  Just putting them in their proper perspective and taking control - not letting them take us over and take us under.   

I guarantee you will be in a much stronger, more powerful position to make positive changes in difficult circumstances if you are focused on gratitude in the midst of difficulty.  Gratitude makes us stronger and more equipped to handle difficulties.  Studies have proven this.  

 So, if you’ve been feeling under siege by terrible clients, it’s just because your brain has been left to its own devices lately and has been reverting back to its standard operating system -the negativity bias.  This week we’re going to input a new program - gratitude - to change things up and increase our personal power and happiness.

 Gratitude Practice: Clients

So here’s what I’d like for you to do with this weeks’ gratitude journal practice focusing on our CLIENTS.  

1.  Find a time when you can be alone and won’t be disturbed. 
2. Put your phone in airplane mode.  
3. Sit down with your coffee or tea or each morning with your tea or a glass of wine in the evening.
4. Light a candle and get comfy in your favorite chair. 
5. Close your eyes and take a deep breath.  Let it all out, and then take another deep breath. 
6. When you feel relaxed, turn your attention to your clients, present and past.  Go as far back as you wish.  Feel the love in your heart of gratitude for them.  Let the thoughts and feelings flow through you. 
7.  When you’re ready, pull out your journal and write about it.  Here are some questions to get you started:

• Who paid you and helped you stay in business?
• Who was a joy to work with?
• Who referred you?
• Who wrote you a testimonial or good review?
• Who’s project has added to your portfolio, helping you get more clients?
• Think back, who took a chance on you when you were just getting started?  
• Who trusted you to come into their home and work amongst their most private and prized possessions?  
• And anything else that comes to mind.

 Do this every day this week.  Aim to write three things each day.

Share the love

Don’t just keep it to yourself!  A very powerful way to build on these good feelings is to actually express your gratitude to the clients who came to mind.  Email them, text them, call them, or write them an actual paper note.  

 Can you imagine getting a handwritten note like this?  It would feel pretty great, right?  No strings attached, no ulterior motives - just an outpouring of gratitude.  The pure energy of it will uplift you, that’s enough.  If it brightens someone else's day, that’s a bonus.  

The first time I did this was a few years ago when I was feeling particularly downtrodden in my work.  Things had not been going well, and I was stuck in a negative downward spiral.  I decided to focus on all the clients who had gone well in the past, and write them each a thank you note to specifically thank them and express my gratitude.  

When I was done I had a stack of notes, and my heart felt incredibly full.  I felt transformed.  Just mailing out those letters felt like sending goodness into the world.  Suddenly my work did not feel so heavy and overwhelming.  I felt energized to carry on, and do what I needed to do.  

As a bonus I got emails and texts from my clients thanking me for the notes and returning the gratitude - it was like an upward spiral of heart-warming happiness was created.  

Unexpectedly, writing those notes also helped me focus on what I was looking for in future clients and be more mindful about who I was going to work with in the future.  By focusing on gratitude for my favorite clients and the specific qualities about them that I appreciated, I was actually able to create more of this in the future by keeping these qualities top of mind when considering who I wanted to work with.  

My brain started to notice these qualities more because I had trained it to do so.  This helped me align with better clients in the future.  

So this was a powerful practice for me not just from an emotional/psychological standpoint, but also (unexpectedly) from a professional and practical perspective as well.  

I can honestly say that writing those notes years ago has continued to benefit me to this day.  

So!  Try expressing gratitude for your clients this week.  If nothing else, your feelings of goodness and abundance will expand in the moment as you remember the good that is already present in your life.  

But also very likely, this practice will expand and bring even more happiness into your life in the days and months and years to come.  

Next week I'll be sending out info for you join me for Designer Sanity’s 30-day Gratitude Practice during November - so sign up for my email list to get that info.  

It’s absolutely free, and I guarantee you’ll finish up the month feeling refreshed and more connected with your inspiration.  What a wonderful way to go into the holidays and finish out the year!